So, many things have become crystal clear to me over the past few months.
- John is the love of my life. No question. Granted, I freaked out a little bit, but I think it had more to do with listening to what other people had to say as opposed to really evaluating our relationship. Which I have done now and I know exactly what I want and am extremely grateful for what I have.
- My family is amazing. We have Blade with us now, so that's my first blood nephew. My grandparents and mom and dad have been full of support in a difficult time in my life.
- I've learned that "friends" don't exist. So-called friends like to trash you behind your back and then can't even bother to tell you what you've supposedly done wrong. Shit, at least Jayson had enough balls to try and call me out on something. I give him way more respect than you two will ever get from me in any lifetime. Fake ass posers. Have fun in your little house with your drama and judgment and "I'm better than you" attitudes.
- I've learned, again, that real friends, chosen family, will be there no matter what. They love and support you because everyone needs a support system. Granted things with a certain three people are sketchy right now, but my hope is that we will all get past this bullshit and get back to just being drama free and happily friended.
- I've learned that my babies are more wonderful than anyone else's.
- I've learned that making mistakes is completely beautiful.
- I've learned that everyone needs to be independent. It's tough, but I love it.
- I've re-learned that art is my passion, and even in its most simplistic forms it is magic.
- I've learned that music can heal wounds.
- I've learned that love is really all that we need.
- I've learned forgiveness is a necessity in life.
- I've learned that trust has to be earned. I shouldn't give it so freely.
- I've also made a commitment to myself and to John to do everything in my power to take care of him, to love him and not take him for granted, to laugh as much as possible with him, to cherish every second we spend together and to not sweat the petty shit. He's all that I am, and everyone will see. Especially those who don't believe.